Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Little Naked Guppy on the Prairie

I must admit it. I miss my Prairie Joy...otherwise known as "Frank". Last night, I was reminded of this driving home from teaching Engrish when I pulled up behind a small yellow Latte. (Mmmm. A Latte.) Which was behind a smaller blue Naked. Which was beside an even eensier car called the Guppy.

Since this country likes to recycle all its available resources, I'm pretty sure that lunatics are not sent to asylums in Japan. Their talents are put to work naming Japanese vehicles.

I always thought that it would be a great job to just name things like cars and lipstick and nail polish. Maybe I could start a dream career working for a Japanese cosmetics company. My very first nail polish color could be "Hi, Acetone!" or perhaps "Led Hot Rovers" (Red Hot Lovers to you and me). If you have any brilliant ideas, please send them along. I'll start putting together a portfolio.

But back to Frank, the Joy of the Tokyo Prairie...Our new car is so much more wonderful on so many levels (odor, usable windows, cleanliness), that I am left wondering why my thoughts keep turning to the ol' wreck. I think it's because our new ride embodies its name--The Mark IV.

Yawn. Sure, it's not embarrassing and all, but where's the romance, the intrigue, the sheer prairie joy? (Reality check: It has probably been chopped up into bits and cannibalized by some other car.)

Now, life has just become mundane, sweet-smelling boredom. I am starting to feel like I have sold out. I have never been a fan of cosmetic surgery because more often than not, it robs the recipient of her character. We have become a nation of Mark IVs with our perfect breasts, flawless skin and impossibly straight, white teeth.

Come on people...embrace your Frankness! Cellulite on your tailgate? Wrinkles on your windshield? Duct tape holding up your boobs? IT'S OKAY! Do the best you can with what you have, because that's what makes you, well, YOU. Revel in the knowledge that your flawed bodywork still allows you to get from point A to point B. So your vehicle is not as shiny as the one parked next to what? You've got character, baby.

So the moral to this little story is that even though Frankenstein is physically gone, he will always be ALIVE in my mental universe...he'll always be my lovable, memorable little freak.


Jenn G. said...

I read your funny comment on "Meanest Mom" blog and you sounded just as clever as I took a peek at your blog. I'm so jealous you're in Japan. I visited there last Fall and it was wonderful!
Great blog...entertaining!

nancy b said...

Thanks Jenn! You are my first "foreign" commenter--I was having a really bad day and made it so much better. As my official FFC, you win a refurbished Guppy. I'll figure out some way to get it to you.

Andrea said...

LOL!! I'm not a fan of cosmetic surgery either. Scared of dieing while under. Couldn't even imagine Chris trying to explain that one to the kids. So sad.

I'll have to get back to you on the cosmetic names. I'm not quick and clever.

Dan Harrison said...

I'm surprised the Japanese haven't embraced some of the American acronyms for automobile manufacturers. I.E. FORD, Found on Road Dead, or JEEP, Jumpstart Every Evening Please.