Saturday, January 9, 2010

Leaping Before Looking

The sense of danger must not disappear:
The way is certainly both short and steep,
However gradual it looks from here;
Look if you like, but you will have to leap.

by W.H. Auden

It's time to move on with my life...literally and figuratively.

This summer, we take up new residence in Denver after 5 years of living in Japan. In the next few, short months, I have to start looking for a new house, cleaning out some scary closets, packing up our house and saying goodbye to a country and friends I love dearly.

There are some big questions to be answered, and much too soonly* for my liking. This fact makes me anxious.

What are we going to?

What do we need to leave behind?

I've grown up a lot in Japan because the lack of choices here has forced me to make due with that I've been given. My life is exceedingly comfortable and happy here. Now, I am going back to the land of unlimited possibilities and I am afraid that I will somehow choose the wrong one. I am starting to feel...overwhelmed.

Should I look before I leap or keep my sense of danger? If you are still reading out there, I would love to hear what you think.

*(I heart Engrish)


Andrea said...

I've been stateside for 2 years already and still feel overwhelmed sometimes. The first year was the hardest. Completely felt like a foreigner. Very Scary!!

It's gotten easier but I still long for the "easy life" in Okinawa. I miss it dearly and can't wait to go visit someday.

You will be okay!! I promise!!

Kath said...

Welcome home dear sister! I will hold your hand as you leap into Walmart, Target, Costco, Sams and other wonderful places that sell an endless array of goods that you need, or didn't know you possibly needed.
Leaping takes have it in you!

Mrs. M said...

Reverse culture shock is hard, and maybe even harder is keeping the self you've become in the presense of those who knew the self you were.

It's been about a week since you wrote this, so I'm wondering how you're feeling about it now. I'm wondering if there are specific choices that have you worried, or if there's just a big tangled monster of uncertainty.

Peace be with you, my friend.